Loss and Gain

Last week was really tough for me and a little bit of that is carrying over into this week. Last Monday one of my favorite students, Darien, came up to me and handed me a note written in Spanish. It said:

"Dear Miss King,

Hi! How are you? I am very sad because we won't be seeing each other anymore. Tomorrow I am going to CECOM (another school). I wish you a lot of love and friendship!

Love,

Darien"

I thought he was confused at first because other students had told me that they were switching schools and it wasn't true. But he had written a letter to every student in the class and when I showed Wendy the note she confirmed that he was indeed going to CECOM the next day. I'm so sad to see him go. Out of all my students he could always make me laugh the hardest. He has this little man laugh and I couldn't help but laugh too when I heard it. He is a very smart little boy and I wish him nothing but the best at CECOM and whenever else he ends up in life. I hope he remembers me, because I will definitely never forget him!

I also found out on Monday that the previous Thursday was my little Maxi's last day at Santa Clara. Maximino had a lot of difficulties in my class and it was decided that it would be best for him to switch to Nazareth (a special needs school). He knew a lot of English, but he couldn't reproduce information to me in a written format. Even when I tested him orally he was failing most subjects. I know going to Nazareth is what's best for him but I miss having him in my class. He had a lot of behavior problems but he's such a happy little guy and he was always smiling and laughing. It was hard to stay mad at him for too long. When he found out he was going to Nazareth he told Rosita that he didn't want to go because he was beautiful and didn't look like those other kids. Then he told her that he'd been doing his homework every night at the orphanage and that he'd be good for her and me in class. The last two weeks his behavior was phenominal -- which made it that much harder to say good-bye. I did get to see him yesterday at the orphanage though. I asked him if he liked his new school and he told me that he did, but he misses me and Santa Clara -- how sweet!!

It's ironic now that I have this photo of both Darien and Maxi. I posted it on a previous blog, but here it is again...

Darien (left) and Jose Maximino

I've been sad about losing both of these boys and I'm also dealing with a severely emotionally disturbed little boy in my class. He lives in the orphanage and it's the worst environment for a kid like him. It BREAKS my heart to know that's where he goes everyday. His mom actually lives in Honduras and has been in and out of the picture throughout his life, but is unable to emotionally care for him on her own. I don't completely understand how these things work in Honduras, but basically a mother can put her child in an orphanage and still have the right to see him/her whenever she wants to, no matter how detrimental it may be to the child. I've had problems with this little boy since the beginning of the year but since I've been back from Christmas break he's been impossible. He refuses to do his work, he tries to play mind games and manipulate, he bothers other children, and just has a whole slew of other issues. When I went to visit him at the orphanage this weekend I talked to the head nun about some of my issues with him at school. She told me during our conversation that his mom came to visit him over Christmas break but has been in a deep depression ever since and hasn't been back. So that has left this little boy feeling abandoned and unloved. When I asked him if he wanted me to come back and visit next week he said "no" and I'm sure I got that response because he doesn't want to be vulnerable, say "yes", and then have me not show. So I've realized that the best thing I can do is be a constant in his life. I need to make sure I make it to the orphanage every Sunday so I can show him how much I care and that he can count on me. Peggy had a long conversation with him at school the other day and asked him if he thought no one loved him. At that point he got emotional and said "No". I could never express fully how much that makes my heart hurt. I can't imagine being 8 years old and feeling like no one in the world loved me. How awful! Peggy asked him specifically if he thought she loved him or I loved him and he said "no". I've cried a lot of tears over this little boy and the situation at hand. I'm just at a loss of what to do and I feel so helpless. Please keep him in your prayers, because he could use all he can get!

On a lighter note I had three wonderful stand-out moments last week!

While writing "I like" sentences in English little Pablo wrote...

I love that he just labeled me "King". It made my day!

Later in the week I wrote some sentences on the board and called on students to read them out loud. I was pleasantly surprised when a lot of them could read the sentences. They were excited too and after the activity was over a little boy said in English "I like, Miss King" and I said "you like what?" He said "I like this! I can read that (as he pointed to the sentences on the board)!" I welled up instantly with tears and then couldn't stop smiling. What a great teaching moment!

Then on Friday a volunteer group of 22 from New Hampshire came to visit the school. Peggy was on a 6th grade retreat that day so Flavia asked me to talk with the group and give them a tour of the school. As I started to show them around one of the women asked me if she could meet Solangel (one of my first graders) because she was her sponsor. Sol was in Profe Rosita's class so I went to get her and it was definitely a Kodak moment to watch her meet this woman for the first time. When Sol realized who she was you could just see the gratitude in her face. Then she just gave her the most sincere hug, it was really sweet. I'm so grateful for all of the sponsors from the US who give these kids the wonderful gift of a good education!

Tomorrow night all of the volunteers are invited to have dinner with the bishop, apparently he makes a mean spaghetti and meatballs. Then Wednesday is our 100th day of school. The first graders have challenged all of the other classes to pick up 100 pieces of trash in our campo "field". A bag of suckers will be given to the class who can fill their bag with the most trash. Then on Saturday we've all been invited to a previous volunteers wedding, and you all know how much I love weddings :)!

"And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down.

Without the rain, there would be no rainbow."

- Gilbert K. Chesterton